Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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