i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
