my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
