i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
