so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
