in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
