He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
