I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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