look no pants
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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