You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
