woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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