I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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