i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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