im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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