I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
