He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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