ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize