no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
