His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
