What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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