using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize