everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
