So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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