from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
