I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
