For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize