Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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