Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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