at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Jerry, you need to find god
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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