I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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