If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
