areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ttyl tear gas
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
