Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize