You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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