Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
