puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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