he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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