You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
