so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
