I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
