I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
