ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
