you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
