dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
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That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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