dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My ass is underappreciated
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
