he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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