Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
