Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize