ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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