its not stalking. its research.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
