Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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