My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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