considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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