I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
