and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
