Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
