He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
