who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
