I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize