Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
