so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
