YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize